Twilight Tears
written for National Poetry Day 2015


I remember the time

When you were two or three

Sitting with me

And you cried

By your bedroom window.

The setting sun

Had gone

Behind the hill

Just out of sight,

Heralding the purples

Of twilight

And whilst apricot birds,

Tangerine clouds

And a myriad of green-blue hues

Still rainbowed the sky

I asked you why?

Why did your tears flow down?

And you replied

With a heartfelt frown,

 

“Mum - I miss the sun!”

 

And in that moment

I loved you more

Than the sun loves the dawn

And in that moment I was reminded that

Every day since you were born

My simple pleasures have become yours

Even the ones that make us cry,

Like the dying of the light in the sky,

Or that scene in Frozen

When Anna breathes her last

And saves her sister’s life

And shatters the prince’s knife

You see?

Oh, but that didn’t make you cry…

That was just me!






THE SCIENCE OF LOVE
(a conversation)
written for Rap'n'Rhyme at the Brighton Science Festival 2015


What are you?
Are you a mixture of sensations
Nervousness and inner vibrations
That I feel
When you are around?
And is it true
The pupils of my eyes dilate
And my racing heart
Dictates
Accelerated breathing
When you are around?
And are
The neurons in my brain producing
The regulating hormone dopamine
Giving me added attention and focus
And is norepinephrine
Increasing the recall
Of new memories made
And am I excited, or am I afraid
When you are around?
Decreased seratonin makes me a bit obsessive
And my feelings can be stronger
And more aggressive
Making me, yes, a little possessive
When you are around.
And it's true
That this is some of the science of you...
But...
I am aware of none of this
When my daughter's blue eyes meet mine
And even when she is defiant, I try to stay kind
And empathy is the only thing on my mind
When that one lost toy, I'm trying to find...
And...
I am aware of none of this
When my dear old mum is trying to mutter
Something with her eyes that her lips can't utter
And I try to understand the hard-won stutter
And put the birdseed on the table to attract the flutter
Of her welcomed daily visitors...
And...
I am aware of none of this
Reading silly rhymes in my card on Valentines Day
And smiling at my darling, because I love the way
He can make me laugh with the things he'll say
And I know he'll be there, come what may...
And
Although I know
That science will try to show
That the billions of memories
That make me love my friends and family
Are all simply electrical impulses
And neural chemistry
Still I feel the impossible mystery
That binds one human being to another
Friend to friend, sister to brother,
Daughter to son, father to mother,
And
Although science may try to tell me
The ins and outs of your complex formulae
The only thing that really makes sense to me
Is that we
Have to feel you
To give you and receive you
And whatever you mean to science
To me, you are simply this:
As essential, vital, beautiful, gentle and fleeting
As a kiss
x

GAMES  HAIKU


A DETERMINED BALL

AIMED TO PERFECTION BREAKS THROUGH

A DEFEATED WALL


PAST THE SPEED OF LIGHT

THE BALL TRAVELS THROUGH GREEN SPACE

GASPS – ANOTHER ACE


DRAWING BACK THE BOW

STEADY, CAREFUL, CAREFUL, AIM

ARROW ON TARGET


KNIGHT TO BISHOP 1

SQUINTING EYES AND ACHING BRAIN

CONSIDER NEXT MOVE


ROUND AND ROUND THE TRACK

KEEPING PACE WITH THE LEADER

NEVER LOOKING BACK



PARAOLYMPIC HAIKU


I AM BLIND BUT FEEL

THE TRACK BENEATH MY FEET AND

DEEP PRIDE IN MY SOUL


WHEELS SQUEAK AND SKID

WEAVING THROUGH THE THUD THUD THUD

OF THE BOUNCING BALL



ROCK CLIMBING

It’s an adventure

   An outdoor gome

     Me verses the rockface

         And it’s never the same

The handholds wear down 

  And the footholds fall off

              It’s always a challenge

                 It’s always quite tough
   
           Sometimes I keep falling

                   Again and again

  Though the harness it holds me

              My pride feels the pain

       Using fingers like pincers 

     My toes wedged right in

       I’m traversing a crevice

       On a ledge that’s so thin

Sometimes I can feel myself

                     Shaking inside

And my disco leg’s trembling

From how hard I have tried

And I feel like I’m losing

And I could just fall off

And try something easier

But I’m just not that soft

            And the summit is calling

            That moment of bliss

     When I haul myself over

Safe from the abyss

When I know I have climbed it

I’ve played it and won

I sit down and admire 

The view, and I’m done.

Ghandi said “the cow is a poem of pity” and I wondered how that could be…

ACROSTIC COW

CLOPPING

OMNIPRESENT 

WANDERER


CANDID

OPPORTUNISTIC

WATCHER


CHARMING

OUTDOOR

WALKER


CALM

ORDINARY

WOBBLER


CREAM-MAKING

OLD-RUBBISH-TAKING

WHEAT FIELD PLOUGHER


COMFORTABLE

OUTSIZED

WEEDER


CAREFUL

OUTSIDE

WAITER



COFFEE-COLOURED

OWNERLESS

WONDER


RAIN

Splashing down the basement steps

And running down the walls

The sound of the rain

Bounces

Into my warm dry home.




The Science of Our Baby

She started as a thought
To make someone
From our love
Who could be loved
And grow.
And that thought became 
A bundle of cells
Dividing and subdividing
A miracle of mathematics and chemistry
Each cell somehow knowing what to do
How to multiply and become
An arm, a leg,
An eyelid, a fingernail
A tongue, a heart
A human.
And even then, before we could tell 
He from she
She knew what she was
An x chromosome from her mother
An x chromosome from her father
If he had provided a y chromosome
She would have been he.
And then she grew
Inside me
As unconscious as the me who was growing her.
My body was performing miracles every day
That no school had taught it
Feeding, nourishing, 
Growing this new life
My body was perfectly doing
What scientists struggle to do
With their formulae 
And complex chemistry
If you showed me the scientific method
For making a baby
I would shake my head and say
“You’ve lost me,
I don’t understand.
I could never do all that!
I have trouble making something
That looks like a person
Out of clay or plasticine…
And that’s just one material.
Don’t ask me to make all the components
Of an eyeball,
Or a mouth,
Or a hand,
With no equipment
No materials
And no instructions.
It can’t be done.
Not by me anyhow.
You’ll need to find someone
Who knows what they’re doing!”
But my body knew something more 
Than my mind
My body had no doubts
No fears
No anxiety.
It knew that this was what it was made for
With the millions of eggs stored up 
Since its creation 
In my own mother’s womb.
And I had to trust it to do this thing
To create this child.
Just as I trust it to breathe and digest
Without my mind telling it how.
Nature knows 
That this first stage of building
And growing
Was best left out of my control.
I’d probably have tried too hard
And messed it up!
But I knew I needed to get ready
I knew that she would soon
Be delivered into our conscious arms
And trusted to our conscious minds
To care for and nurture.
A tiny, unique, human
A little girl
Our baby.


2009



DNA  AND  ME

Just like my mum or just like my dad?
The question is, which one is good?  Which is bad?
I’ve my father’s kind heart, but my mum’s tuneful voice.
I’ve my dad’s sense of humour, but it was never a choice
To have straight hair or curly, long legs or short
‘Cos the decision was made long before I was born.
When I was first growing inside my mum’s womb
I was shaping and forming to a code pre-assumed
With half from my dad and half from my mum
My cells were all jiggling inside of her tum.
I was ordered around by the genes in my body
And the DNA made sure that I wasn’t made too shoddy,
Though if I’m really honest there’s some bits I would change
If I could have made my DNA rearrange.
I’d have made my nose thinner and my teeth much more straight
I would take off the moles from my body and face.
My memory would be sharper and my organisation
Would have me straight-lining without contemplation.
I’d have a super-clever brain that could make me more money
And my ability to tell jokes would make me oh so funny!
But wait…I’m describing a person I’m not
If you take away my foibles and the “weaknesses” I’ve got
I would cease to be me, I would cease to know you
I would cease to have the family and friends that I do.
For each gene that’s switched on, maybe another’s turned off?
I’d be organised, yes, but asthmatic with a cough?
I’d have a thin nose, but maybe lose the great voice.
Am I really so sure that, given the choice,
I could make a decision that would make me more happy?
I’d rather be artistic and a little bit dappy
Than lose all the things that I like about me
All the things that now in my daughter I see.
And if she has my nose and my spot-spangled skin
I will tell her she’s gorgeous and help her begin
By loving her DNA, challenges and all
It connects her to me and her dad and that’s not all
It connects her to everyone that’s ever gone before
Parents and grandparents, great-grandparents and more.
She’s part of us all and I love her for that
So I must also love me, and where my DNA’s at.
And you should love you just the way that you are
You’re unique, a one off, a developing star.
You may not be perfect, but neither am I
But you can be the perfect you...and, hey, you can fly
Your DNA’s fixed (for now!) but your dreams? Well they’re not!
So work with what you have and find the right slot
In this mad crazy world where you feel you belong
You’re a unique human being, and that can’t be wrong.


Kay Walton  2012



Baby

Cry cry

Smile smile

Blink blink

Poo poo

Cry cry 

Feed feed

Twitch twitch

Gurn gurn

Twist twist

Smile smile

Look look

Feed feed

Blink blink

Poo poo

Grab grab

Laugh


2009